A New Me.

The last few months I have been going through several health issues and I figured it's about time I shared my story. I have felt empowered by other women going through my same experiences and they have made me stronger just by their faith and courage, that maybe my story could do the same for someone else. 

A few months ago I was experiencing many changes within my body. Since my wedding day I had gained about 35 pounds. I was losing my hair, and it was so dry I had scabs forming on my scalp. My eyesight was going bad, I was experiencing major heartburn and nausea. I had missed a cycle and was thinking I was pregnant! I was so overjoyed with the thought that there might be a little one inside of me. I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test and all read negative. I decided to go to the doctor for more testing just to be sure. I was certain I was pregnant. I started to plan how I was going to surprise Cam and my family. The doctor came in with the results and I was crushed. Not only did I find out I was not pregnant, but I was told my body wasn't functioning the way it should. 

The doctor diagnosed me with Hypothyroidism, or Thyroid Disease. That means my body cannot produce enough thyroid hormones. He said not to worry, and that this happens to a lot more people than I think. I underwent a series of tests to see exactly how severe it was. They tested for tumors and cysts. The doctor prescribed me with 3 different types of medication to take daily, for the rest of my life, to hopefully balance out my levels and get my body back to normal. 

I remember when I was a little girl, imagining being a cute homemaker and the perfect wife. I imagined having a perfect skinny body and an always tidy house. But reality kicked in and none of that is perfect. There are some days my body doesn't want to cooperate. My nails and hair is brittle and they break and fall out. Besides the excessive weight gain and the fact I'm already a brace-face, I now have glasses for the first time ever. I'm experiencing Carpal-Tunnel in my hands which makes my career as a Dental Assistant very hard. My bones are brittle and achy. Not to mention I cut mine and my poor husband's "honeymoon stage" short due to loss of sex drive (TMI I know.) Some days I battle with slight depression, and I have no idea why. 

My number one heartbreak of all of this is it is affecting my ability to have a baby. Everyday is a struggle and I just pray that Heavenly Father knows what He is doing. I know He knows my needs and wants. He blessed me with the most amazing man as a husband. I can't thank him enough for sometimes having to play the wife role when I can't. 

I know My Heavenly Father lives and loves me. I know he blessed me with this life and my crazy imperfect family. He blessed me with a very special man who is there with me every step of the way. I am forever grateful to be Brinkley Jocelyn Lester Gibson. I love being ME, there's no denying it.